Dear Leanne,

I'm writing you this letter so when you come across hard times, you can be reminded of how you felt today. You managed to hit a new weight decade today..while reaching your fourty pound milestone along the way. Always remember how fearless and unstoppable you felt today. Don't forget that feeling of accomplishment you felt. How you almost cried because everyone in your meeting clapped really loud and was genuinely excited for your milestone. So many people believe in you...even when you don't believe in yourself.

Remember that no matter how impossible it seems, you CAN and ARE doing this. You've come so far. Do you really want to go back to being the girl you used to be? The girl you left behind about thirty five pounds ago? The one who made excuses until she was blue in the face, all because she didn't want to leave the house? The one who had to fake her happiness when she was around the people she loved? The girl who never felt comfortable in her skin? The girl who didn't even feel like a girl, at all?

I know throughout your weight loss journey thus far you've constantly doubted yourself. But look at how far you've come. You're actually able to run for three minutes straight four times and you only slightly feel like you're going to die. You actually like shopping now, and own more dresses than you ever thought you would. You expose your arms IN PUBLIC, which still shocks you to this day. You laugh more. And you cry less.

Last weekend you were walking to a store with your mom and she turned to you and said, "Doesn't being healthy feel good?" Remember that when you're really craving Burger King. Remember that when you'd rather sleep then work out. Just...remember that.

Also, constantly remind yourself that you are worth it. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live your life, instead of hiding in the shadows. You ARE worth everything you ever dreamed of. No more skipping out on fun activities because you're scared of people commenting on the 'poor fat girl' that's embarassing herself. No more not going places because you're afraid your weight will restrict you.

Quit selling yourself short. You have so much to offer and this is only the beginning. Push yourself and you'll constantly be surprised by your own strength.

I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but till I try, I'll never know!

--Wicked, Defying Gravity

12/31/09
weight: 260
BMI: 39.5

4/29/10
weight: 219.6
BMI: 33.4

Go girl, it's your birthday!

12/31/09
weight: 260
BMI: 39.5

4/14/10
weight: 220.8
BMI: 33.6

This past weekend was my 21st birthday and I had made a deal with myself that from Thursday-Sunday I wasn't going to count what I was eating and just enjoy my 21st. My view is that those 4 days are only FOUR days out of an entire year where I let loose on my weight loss journey, so no harm no foul right?

Thursday evening I drove up to Baton Rouge to go dress shopping and bring in my birthday with my bestest friend Amanda.

Birthday dress #1

Birthday dress # 2

I hadn't eaten hardly anything leading up to dinner, so it was safe to say that when 8 o'clock rolled around I was ravenous and just wanted to devour everything in site. We ended up getting Chick fil A and I decided, "Screw grilled chicken and a salad", I really want the fried chicken sandwich and some waffle fries. Words cannot describe how delicious that meal was, and I definitely enjoyed every last bite of it. (When I got home the next day I looked up the points for my meal and it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.)

We celebrated my birthday by having some mudslides and then going out at midnight so I could buy my first alcoholic purchase....Abita Purple Haze beer.



Enter Friday, my actual 21st birthday. My mom was a sweetheart and took me and a couple of my friends to dinner...I picked Cucos (a mexican restaurant). We managed to get there during happy hour, so I just HAD to get a double frozen margarita, right? Right. It was so delicious and I rounded out our dinner trip with a make your own burrito, complete with sour cream, mexican rice, and loads of shredded cheese, and chips and queso dip. Yet still managed to only have 2 little bites of the free fried ice cream I got since it was my birthday.



After dinner, me and my friends headed for the hotel room my beautiful best friend Tracie snagged us for my birthday. When I walked into the hotel room, Tracie, Lien, and Vivian had managed to completely cover the floor with black and pink balloons and had streamers hung up in the hallway. It was so beautiful and I was so touched that someone would do all of that for me that I cried. Best.birthday.EVER.

SERIOUSLY, how amazing is that cake and birthday card?!

I managed to stay on point drink wise, limiting myself to 2 drinks, some shots, and one beer. And even got some activity points in by dancing until almost 4 am. :)








Best night ever? Yeah.

Saturday night I went to dinner with my entire family at Copeland's Cheesecake Bistro. I ordered a Mai Tai..mmm, and we got the spinach and artichoke appetizer, my favorite. It was muy delicioso. Then my mom and I split the chicken ceaser sandwich, it came with fries and you know I attacked those, and each got a side salad. After dinner I went to a friend's apartment just to enjoy some good company with people I loved...a good way to end my birthday weekend.

I may have gone a little overboard on the whole "off weight watchers" for the weekend thing, but I don't regret it at all. I even stepped on the scale yesterday and the damage wasn't as bad as I was dreading it to be. I managed to get myself right back on plan this morning and am bracing myself for a gain this week. You need slip ups every once in a while, no one's perfect and if you put that pressure on yourself to be, it's only going to backfire on you.

I'm flying high, defying gravity.

12/31/09
weight: 260
BMI: 39.5

4/8/10
weight: 221.4
BMI: 33.7

After skipping last week's weigh in because of being sick and having relatives in town, I didn't really find myself nervous for this week's weigh in, because quite honestly I know I haven't been eating a good deal of my allotted points these past two weeks, simply because I haven't been home and haven't had the time..I know those are both horrible excuses and I know that's me being a bad weight watcher, but what can I do? I'm going to get back to actually eating breakfast lunch AND dinner, not one or two of the three a day. But I'm nervous that when I get back to my normal regime I'll gain some of the weight back. I know once I get back into the swing of things those pounds will just come off like they're supposed to, so I'll be okay.

I weighed in yesterday over 7 pounds lighter but I couldn't even be excited for it because I knew I was cheating the program by not eating. This is my promise that I'll get back to my schedule after my birthday weekend...next weekend.

In happier news, I went to see Wicked this past Wednesday and for the first time in my LIFE, I wore a strapless dress in public, and I don't think it looked that horrible.

Exhibit A:

And looking on the bright side of things...my 7 pound loss means that I only need to lose 1.4 pounds at next weeks weigh in to meet my goal of -40 by my birthday! I think I can actually do it!

On the horizon, as the morning breaks...I can see a brand new day that's full of new mistakes.

This weekend has been full of a lot of temptations for me. I spent Thursday-Saturday at my aunt's house and whenever my family gets together, the house turns into Yummy Food City and I used to be the mayor of it, content to eat everything that was in front of me just because it was all so dang good. But this year I was more than happy to just be a tourist visiting for a few hours.

On Good Friday we have a tradition of boiling crawfish and crabs...which I don't eat, so no worries there. And we also have...temptation #1: stuffed artichokes. These babies are one of my top 5 favorite foods EVER, so you know there was no way I was passing it up. I looked up the points value for one beforehand and simply adjusted my day's worth of eating so I could have one. Seriously, it was so worth it, I can still taste it just by thinking about it.

Since my nanny won't be here for my birthdaylater in April, she lives in Houston, and my sister's birthday was this last Thursday, we had our birthday celebration on Good Friday with my nanny. And that brings in temptation #2: Red Velvet cake...my mouth watered just typing that. I had gone back and forth all day trying to decide if I wanted a little piece or not. By the time I was cutting everyone's pieces I had decided to pass on the cake, so I wouldn't feel guilty about indulging a bit over my real birthday weekend. :) Truth be told, I did have a little taste of the icing off the plate the cake was on...mmm.

Temptation #3: Easter. Over the past few weeks I would flip flop from telling my mom to just get me a couple pieces of candy to just not giving me anything at all. I quickly nicked the second option, because I didn't want to feel like I was depriving myself of anything. So the easter bunny filled my little basket with weight watcher friendly treats.



Nerd's Rope
whole rope
calories: 90
fat: 0
fiber: 0

Mamba fruit chews
per 6 pieces
calories: 100
fat: 1 g
fiber: 0

Tootsie pops
1 pop
calories: 60
fat: 0
fiber: 0

Necco wafers
1 roll
calories: 220
fat: 0
fiber: 0

I went shopping yesterday and got a really cute dress from Target, so I put it on and took a progress picture to post on here.




I know I've been neglecting my poor blog, so here's my vow to stay on track from now on. I was really sick last week, so for the first time...I skipped my weigh in this past Thursday.
But never fear...here are my results from the Thursday before that.

12/31/09
weight: 260
BMI: 39.5

3/25/10
weight: 228.6
BMI: 34.8

I've lost 31.4 since January and I'm 8.6 pounds away from my goal of having lost 40 pounds by my 21st birthday. Anyone think I can lose 8.6 in 2 weeks? Seems a bit impossible to me, but I'm going to try really hard anyway! :)