Thursday, February 25, 2010

Put your boots on baby. Get to work, work.

Let's just get the embarassing bit out of the way, shall we?

12/31/09
weight: 260
BMI: 39.5

2/25/10
weight: 240.6
BMI: 36.6

Thanks to the 2.6 pounds I've in week eight of weight watchers, I am only .4 pounds away from bringing my total weight loss up to TWENTY POUNDS! I've lost 19.6 pounds so far, I never NEVER thought I would be able to stick with this but taking things one week at a time has proved effective.

I'm going to try to tackle day 1 of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred today, wish me luck! So in the spirit of exercise, I thought I'd share my top songs that are always on my workout playlist :)

1.) Britney Spears: Stronger
2.) Lady Gaga: Bad Romance
3.) The Saturdays: Ego
4.) Ke$ha: Your Love is my Drug
5.) Britney Spears: 3
6.) Lady Gaga: Monster
7.) The Saturdays: Work
8.) The Veronicas: Untouched
9.) McFly: Lies
10.) Ke$ha: Tik Tok
11.) The Saturdays: Up
12.) Lady Gaga: Beautiful, Dirty, Rich
13.) Pixie Lott: Boys and Girls
14.) The Ting Tings: That's not my name
15.)Britney Spears: Lonely
16.) Ashlee Simpson: Lala
17.)Ke$ha: Take It Off
18.)Ke$ha: Kiss 'n' Tell
19.)Ke$ha: Blah Blah Blah
20.)The Veronicas: This Is How It Feels

I've got tons more, but I figured you get the picture. Anything upbeat, fast, and fun to sing to will make my workout list. Hopefully by next week I can think of a different or really good post for my 20 pound milestone!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I want something to live for.

It's really hard for me to post this picture on this blog for everyone to see. Look at how uncomfortable I am. I can remember that I thought that shirt was too tight, when in fact it fit how regular shirts are supposed to fit. I'm notorious for buying clothes that are too big for me, and my friends constantly tell me I need clothes that fit. Truth be told, I'd rather be swimming in my clothes and be able to hide in them then to wear something form fitting and risk letting the world see my fat rolls, etc.
This picture is the essence of me before I started this WLJ. I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin that I can't even stand to have my picture taken from the neck down. Granted this picture is at least 3 years old and my weight has changed aka gone up since then. Whenever I'd be out with my friends and the camera would come out it was constantly a game of 'who can Leanne hide behind for each picture?' I'm only 20 years old, I'm supposed to be having the time of my life, not hiding behind people for pictures or hiding in my room away from the world, ashamed of what I've become. That's not even a life, it's just an existance. I don't want to exist...I want to live. I want to travel, go out every weekend. Be a social butterfly. Be the fun friend again. Not the friend who is forced to go out and be with her other amazing, wonderful friends.


This is last Mardi Gras (Feb. '09) by this point I had lost about 50 pounds working with a place called 'Physician's Weight Loss Center' while I was amazingly successful doing this program, the eating plan was so strict that I had to eat the same amount of the exact same foods almost everyday and after awhile I just got tired of it and went over the deep end. But I looked at all of the pictures after my weight loss, and while it wasn't a significant loss, I was so much happier. I went out more, heck I was barely home last Mardi Gras. It was a beautiful time and I was starting to act more like myself. But after I gained all the weight back, I was in an even bigger rut than before I started.

I won't fall off the deep end this time, at this moment I feel like I could look over the edge of that cliff I fell off last year and not even be scared to fall. I have a great support system in my family, friends, and WW members, I can succeed and I WILL.

I'm tired of simply existing, I want to live. I want to build a life I can look back on in 50 years and be happy about. I want to have stories to tell grandchildren. I want to HAVE grandchildren,children, a husband. I can't do any of that until I'm happy with the person I am, and while I may not be there yet...I keep getting closer and closer as the weeks go by.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Something has changed within me, something is not the same...

So, I had my weekly WI at weight watchers earlier this evening and the results from the scale are AMAZING. I managed to lose 4.4 pounds this week bringing the grand total up to 16.8!!!! I've lost 16.8 pounds in 7 weeks! After I get to -20, I think I'm going to try to slow my weight loss down a bit so I can tone as I lose. When my dad gets home from work later tonight, I'm begging him to reactivate my gym membership, because I've been dying to get on the Elliptical and get some weight training in.

When I put my results on twitter one of my followers and fellow WW member asked what my secret is, and while I really don't have any magic trick up my sleeve to keep losing weight every week,I've decided to write a blog(s) about what I've done so far in my weight loss journey (including favorite low calorie foods, excersice, etc).

While weight watchers prides themselves on giving you room to be flexible, I'm a creature of habit and comfort, so I basically eat most of the same foods everyday. I know someday I'll get tired of them, but WW is teaching me how to be able to branch out in a healthy way that will blend with my new lifestyle..I'm just not there yet. I don't trust myself yet to not binge on fast food, chocolate, etc.

So here are some of my low calorie/point staples that get me through every week:

Apple Jacks
1 cup
calories: 100
fat grams: 0.5 g
fiber: 3 g

100 calorie Multigrain english muffins
1 muffin
calories: 100
fat grams: 1 g
fiber: 1 g

Sugarfree Grape Jam
1 tbsp
calories: 10
fat grams: 0 g
fiber: 0 g

Nature's Own Sandwich Thins (seriously I would be in trouble without these bad boys)
1 sandwich thin
calories:100
fat grams: 1 g
fiber: 5 g

Jennie-O Lean Savory Turkey Burgers (I could eat these babies every day and never get sick of them..they are like food from the gods..for me at least)
1 patty
calories: 160
fat grams: 9 g
fiber: 1 g

Fiber One 90 calorie chocolate bars
1 bar
calories: 90
fat grams: 2 g
fiber: 5 g

The Skinny Cow Strawberry Shortcake ice cream sandwich
1 sandwich
calories: 140
fat grams: 2 g
fiber: 3 g

The Skinny Cow low fat Fudge bar
1 bar
calories: 100
fat grams: 1 g
fiber: 4 g

I'm also constantly stuffing my face with fruits and vegetables every day. And water has become my best friend...I haven't had soda of any form since New Years eve. If you can't imagine yourself downing at least 6 glasses of water everyday, I find that Crystal light flavor packets make it easier..and they're only 5 calories a packet!

This blog has basically been super formal and longer than I anticipated..I promise the next one won't be as boring. I think next blog I'll list my favorite workout songs and my favorite workouts I do every week, or want to do in the coming weeks.

Oh, and I've decided to start posting my results by putting my original weight up here and then my weight after my weigh in. This is really humbling and humiliating for me. I know I'm not that weight anymore, but the fact that I was EVER the weight I used to be is mind blowing. Here's to hoping to NEVER see that number again.


12/31/2009
weight: 260
BMI: 39.5

2/18/2010
weight: 243.2
BMI: 37.0

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I'm stronger than I ever thought that I would be

Am I the only one that finds Stronger by Britney Spears extremely motivating??

So, reading through the last six blogs I've already posted, they left me feeling depressed. I'm over writing about how sad being overweight has made me. I'm ready to move onto writing about how happy I am that I've finally committed to making a change. Throughout this WLJ (weight loss journey) I plan on finding not only smaller clothes that I will fit in, but finding my confidence, finding my inner peace, and mostly finding myself. I feel like the real Leanne is buried under all of this fat and she's just itching to come out.

Things I've learned today:

Be good to yourself.
Persistence, NOT perfection.
If you have the heart, the mind and body will follow.

I just got back from my weight watchers weekly meeting feeling rejuvenated and re-motivated. I CAN do this, heck I AM doing it. I'm in my sixth week at weight watchers and I've managed to lose 12.4 pounds. As each pound drops I'm feeling more confident in myself, I know I can do it and those results are just justifying that belief.

I'm no longer looking at how miserable I was/am I'm looking forward. I'm looking forward to walking into any clothing store, trying on beautiful clothes, and putting them back not because they didn't fit or look good, but because I couldn't afford them. I'm looking forward to having my social life back and not being anxious about going out because I'm worried people are constantly judging me. I'm looking forward to not being scared to talk to boys OR anyone new in general, not trying to shrink into myself for fear someone tries to include me in a conversation.

I will never be the weight I was six weeks ago, I will never be that unhappy about myself. I will never not take care of myself again. I AM important, I AM worth something, and it's time other people see that.


Basically you get the point, I'm looking forward.

Because from where I am right now, what's to come in my life is so much better than anything I could find from looking in the past.