Run hard, live easy...

Sweaty sweaty sweaty!

Had a beast mode run this evening with my mom! She used to be the running ninja but it seems we've switched roles because now it's me beating her in our runs...by a considerable amount! Today is definitely a day where I feel the running love!

HUZZAH!

Festive Cheer!

12/2/10: 226.2

BMI: 34.4

12/16/10: 219.4

BMI: 33.4

So, last week I committed to measuring and tracking EVERYTHING that I ate and boy did it pay off! I lost FOUR pounds on my second week back on my mission! FOUR POUNDS! Now, I'm only 9.4 pounds away from back to my 50 pound weight loss achievement! I finally feel like I'm back on track and it makes me feel like I'm in control...which equals a HAPPY Leanne! I've decided that I quite like the Points Plus program. It pushes you to make healthier choices everyday. For instance, all fruit is zero points, so whenever I'm hungry I grab some fruit to satisfy me instead of something less healthy, like a tootsie pop or chips etc. Also, I've turned into quite the alcoholic this past summer and seeing as alcohol has gone drastically up in Points Plus values...I know that that has got to change NOW. This program is pushing me to decide whether alcohol is really worth losing al those points and most of the time it's not. Being that drinking makes me a slack runner and lowers my food inhibitions, this is a good thing.

I've decided to abstain from drinking unless it's a holiday, birthday, big celebration, or I just really really want or need a drink after a particular day.

We shall see how this turns out...

Christmas is less than a week away! EEEEE!!! And I've already decided that I'm going to nip into my weekly points plus allowance so I can enjoy myself without stressing over what I'm eating while I'm with my family.

My Christmas day (and night) plan:

Breakfast:

Scrambled egg with cheese

cereal

FRUIT FRUIT FRUIT

Christmas lunch/dinner:

Salad

VEGETABLES

some form of meat...probably turkey

mashed potatoes

artichoke stuff

Snacks:

I will have either one small brownie or a small piece of cake (both are sugar free)

FRUIT

Drinks:

WATER, WATER, WATER

Activity:

Walking around the neighborhood to look at all of the pretty lights.

Also, maybe my mom and I can get an early morning run in before we head to my aunt's house (Don't hold me to that!)

That's my plan and I'm sticking to it! :)

Let your heart be light, from now on our troubles will be out of sight.

12/2/10: 226.2

BMI: 34.4

12/9/10: 223.4

BMI: 34.0

I lost 2.8 on my first week back on my mission! Can I get a huzzah!?

I went a little back into my fatty ways the tuesday before weigh in so I got scared and decided I was going to skip that weeks weigh in. But I started thinking about how last time I did this I played the scale game. I would wear the lightest clothes I had and would not eat anything past 1 pm on weigh in day to get optimum results and I've realized that this journey isn't a game of "What's the scale say?" It's so much more than that! It's about feeling better about myself, being held accountable for what I'm putting in my body, and just being in control. I am in control of my life, NOT the scale. So long story short, I went to weigh-in and ended up being down almost 3 pounds, needless to say I was a happy, happy girl!

Those were the goals I had set for 2010...can we all zone in on the fact that Mission Mollie was my number one goal!? And for the most part of the year, I stuck on it! Because of my perseverance, I am almost 40 pounds lighter than I was at this time last year and I couldn't be happier. For the first time in a very, very long time, I stuck to my guns and saw out my resolutions throughout the year and I'm a happier person because of it.

By the end of 2010, I will also have completed #s 2,3,7, & 8. I made a list of 10 things I wanted to achieve and I got through half of them! I would have been happy with just one goal under my belt...but having 5 is the best Christmas present to myself EVER!

I've actually been tracking what I eat this week and I feel very much like I felt when I joined weight watchers back in January of '10. The new plan has me all kinds of excited and I feel like I'm getting to start fresh and really see what I can do with all the tools I'm given.

I'm ecstatic to get back to that 50 pound weight loss mark and go beyond that to 60, 70, maybe even 80 pounds lost. I'm not going to stress about this, I'm going to use the tools and tips that I get at my meetings, trust my heart and my previous knowledge, and live and have fun this time around.

BRING IT!

The cycle ends right now...

I don't even know what to say right now. I've fallen so far off of the weight watchers track that I can't even see which way is up or down anymore. I weighed myself today and even though it's making me bawl typing it...I've gained a massive 25 pounds since June. I've been eating whatever I want whenever I want to. I've become lazy and have lost my will to run. A boy broke my heart and I started eating my feelings. My dad and grandmaw had scares and ended up in the hospital weeks apart from the other so I started stress eating. While all of these are reasons for that big number...it doesn't excuse my eating behavior. Weight watchers gave me the tools to avoid all of those and instead of applying what I learned during those times...I just took the easy way out and stuffed my face because it made me happy for .5 seconds. It's funny, isn't it? I'm depressed because I keep eating too much and I keep eating too much because I'm depressed. But that cycle ends right now. I just had a massive cry to my mom, I'm talking the gasping for air type of crying, and she's going to help give me a nudge in the right direction.

I need to stop taking the easy way out. The hardest things in life are the things you have to struggle and fight for. And I'm going to lose this weight regardless of whether I have to run, walk, crawl, cry, bled, and scream for it. Because in the end the biggest struggles are the most worthwhile. One of my best friends, after I talked to her about my weight gain, told me "That girl who wrote those blog posts about being strong and motivated, that's still you. So find that inside of you again." She has had the most faith in me since I started this almost a year ago and it's her faith that helps keep me going and helps me believe in myself again.

I hope today was the kick in the butt that I needed to get back on track because I know where I've been before I started this and I really don't want to be back in that dark place. But I guess if I just give up and accept it as my "fate" instead of doing everything that I could possibly do to get as far away from that past as I could then I really do deserve it. Because I have the power to change for the better, I have the power to lose the weight..AGAIN. I have the power to be the person I want to be with no help from anyone. I can't count on people to make me happy, get me in gear, etc. When I let people control my emotions...when they leave I'm helpless, and I shouldn't be. So I'm in charge of myself from now on. I will make myself happy, I will put myself first. I control what I do, no one else and it's time I realize my own strength.

The fight is back on, it's the fight of my life and I will be victorious. Watch me.

T(rain) E(ndure) A(chieve) M(atter)

12/31/09

weight: 260
BMI: 39.5

10/8/10
weight: 217.2
BMI: 33.0

Moving on..

It's been a long 5 month since I've last updated on my weight loss journey. You can probably guess by now (and by seeing my 11 pound gain) that over those 5 months I struggled to hold on to my weight watchers wagon..sometimes only managing to grasp at it with a fingernail. I only started going back to meetings yesterday and I feel rejuvenated.

Before yesterday I felt like I was spiraling out of control and had lost all hope. But everything's changed now. After just one day of eating right I feel completely in control of my body and I just now realized how much I missed it! :)

On October 2, 2010 I completed my first half marathon after 5 months of insane training with Team In Training (www.teamintraining.org) seriously could not have picked a better group of people to experience this with. My finish time was a whopping 3 hours and 33 minutes...but at least I finished...I even got a shiny medal to prove it!

Finish line photo! Making Gaga proud.. ;)

After being able to tackle such an enormous feat...I feel empowered to anything..even get back on my weight loss journey. Times will be tough, I know. I may want to cry, quit, binge, or all of the above. But one thing is for certain...I will NEVER go back to where I was before this journey began.

How far would you go to save a life?

In January I started out on a journey to get healthy and find out who I truly am, and four months into this journey I’m fourty-three pounds lighter and so much happier. Now, I’m about to embark on the next phase of this journey by participating in my very first half marathon. Yes, I really am crazy enough to commit to walk and run 13.1 miles in one go, so in October I will be participating in the Disney Wine & Dine Half Marathon.

I’m training with a beautiful organization called Team in Training (www.teamintraining.org) and I’ve committed to run this half marathon not just for myself, but for the millions of people that suffer every year from Leukemia and Lymphoma. I get to improve my health, while raising money and awareness so that other people can improve and better their lives as well. How amazing is that?

I really want to help make a difference in other people’s lives, but I can’t do it alone. So, I need YOUR help. Please, give what you can…ever bit helps. If you’re not able to lend your financial support, moral support is greatly appreciated as well. I know this leg of my journey is going to be a tough one. But the hardest things in life are the most worthwhile, right?

My fundraising page: http://pages.teamintraining.org/la/diswine10/lfayard

If you can dream it...you can do it!

So I haven't been a very good blogger lately, but that's mostly because my weight loss journey has been going up and down and I really didn't have anything substantial to blog about. Until now..

Everyone should mark down October 2 on their calendars, because it is a very important date. Why is that you ask? Because October 2 will be the day my mom, my best friend, and I embark on our very first half marathon. But this isn't just any old half marathon, it goes through 3 of the parks at Disney and ends at Epcot! Being as I've never actually been in any of the Disney parks before, I'm as excited as a 5 year old.

If you had told me four months ago that I even thought walking/running 13.1 miles was even a slight possibility for me, I would have laughed right in your face, and then felt bad about it. I actually believe that I can do this half marathon, and I'm not talking about a delusional blind faith in myself. I whole-heartedly feel that I can achieve this goal. The organization that is doing this has a program where you train with a group every Saturday in addition to training on your own throughout the week. They also have clinics you can go to and mentors and coaches that help you every step of the way.

But, there's a catch..

Each participant has to raise a minimum of $1900 in order to participate. Needless to say my faith in managing to raise that amount of money before October 2 is not unwavering. It's pretty much a non-existent faith. But I'm going to try my hardest to achieve it.

In a week or two, I should have my very own website in association with Team in Training (http://www.teamintraining.org/) for donations, if anyone is interested in helping my dream come true! Every little bit helps!

This Thursday when I weigh in, I promise to update my weekly weigh-in which I know is about 3 weeks behind.

In the mean time, I went to Orlando a couple of weekends ago to see one of my beautiful best friends off to work in Disney for 7 months. The trip was short but so amazing, so I thought I'd share a few pictures with you guys :)

Arghhh matey! The name be Jack Sparrow. ;)
(we even have our trustworthy bottle of rum on hand)

He's got such a big head and wittle bitty arms.

Bestest friends forever & always :) ♥

To infinity and beyond!
I'm going to miss that girl for the next 7 months! :(

:)